The Right Place at the Right Time

Friends and family,

An Apostle once said, and I paraphrase, "Sometimes the Lord will help you by placing someone else in your path". So, that's a really bad paraphration. But I truly believe that God sort of 'micromanages' my life.

For the past three weeks, after the whole ordeal of Prop 8 happened, I have been feeling really strange. I wanted to try something new in my life. I wanted to be someone else, or just be who I think I really am, with no consequences. For those who know me, they will understand what I am trying to say. Nothing happened, thank goodness. But I was really down. I couldn't decide what path I wanted to follow. I couldn't decide what I needed to do. I couldn't see what my future held, or where I was going. I felt guilty, I felt unsure and I felt unwise.

During those past three weeks, I could feel and I knew that people had been praying for me. A lot. But I ignored those feelings and pushed past them. I went to Salt Lake with my friend and we had a great time. But being there tried my faith. I wanted to move there so I could be more open with myself and try new things. I am glad that did not happen.

All these feelings led up to what happened last night: I went to see the movie, "Twilight" with some new friends from my improv class. I was really excited because we went to the new theatre just recently built at the University Mall here in Provo. The movie was surprisingly good and I enjoyed it. What happened after the film, however, is where I realized what was happening.

A dear friend of mine, named Everett, took me home to my apartment complex. On the way home, we talk about specific struggles that I have. This is where God put Everett into my life. I told him and it wasn't a big suprise to him. But he accepted that fact. However, he began to talk about his past life and everything he had gone through. He told me that if or when I decide to life that life, everything will be ruined. The Devil wants to make me believe that living a particular lifestyle will change everything and I will finally be happy. Obviously, that is not true for I reminded myself that "wickedness never was happiness".

He spoke of the redeeming power of Jesus Christ. We spoke of how men and women in the Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-day Saints who struggle with this are given it because God knows that we are able to overcome the buffetings of Satan and help more people in the world than those who do not struggle with this. I believe that becuase of this, I am able to respond to the whisperings of the Holy Ghost and able to listen to people, and help them with their lives. This is true. We spoke of turning away from the Devil and blocking our minds to his slient whispers.

He then told me that on BYU Campus, there is free counseling and support groups. I had no idea that they were free. He is currently seeing a doctor right now and he reffered me to her. I went there today to try and sent up an appointment, but all doctors are booked until the Winter Semestre. Everett is going to pull some strings for me. However, I was angry for a while, as I tried to understand why God would block the opportunity for me to get help. But, hopefully my new friend will open a door for me.

All I am really trying to say is that I am thankful for your prayers. I am thankful for my Heavenly Father who knows me and understand who I am. I am thankful that he put Everett into my life to help me realize what direction I was heading. Some of my friends tried to tell me that, but really, they have no idea what it is like. Everett does not lead that lifestyle, he really never did. He is now preparing to serve a mission. He is a great example to me, as I am to him.

I am thankful for my family and friends who have been worrying for me, because I know you have. Rest assured that I am trying to get back on the right track and become the type of man that God wants be to me.

What does the future hold? I have no idea. But I do know this: As long as I am faithful and heed the whisperings of the Spirit and do what the Lord and Heavenly Father would want me to do, I will be blessed and protected an become a man worthy to be called a servant of Father.

CARROTS!!!