A while back, I remember writing in my journal that it was time for me to take control of my life. It was time for me to get that audition, to finish that film, to write that novel, to create a new invention. I remember writing that it is not God who helps; it is I.
Now I realize the error of my ways. How prideful is that? How conceited is that statement? God is not the one who helps out? Really? How pitiful am I.
God has been my strength and my salvation for my entire life. There has not been a time when I have not needed him. Why have I been thinking that I don’t need him now? If there was any time in my life that I needed God and Christ in my life, now is the time.
I am young and in the “wild years” of my life. While that is true, I have to remember that it is because of God that I am where I am now. I am studying at one of the greatest universities in the nation; if not the world. I have a roof over my head. I have food to eat. I have clean water to drink. I have the influence of the Holy Ghost in my life. I have a mode of transportation. I have a family who loves me and supports me in every aspect of my life. I have wonderful friends that are awesome, loving, and spectacular.
I cannot forget my Lord and my Savior, Jesus Christ, who atoned for my sins. I am so grateful to my God and my Lord for helping and saving me. I can’t tell you how many times that I have felt their love in my life. There are times in all of our lives when we feel as if we are far from their presence and their love, but this is when we realize that we need them the most.
Although I realize that I will always need the help of God and my Savior, I understand that they cannot do everything for me. For a while in my life, I always thought that it was Them who made all the decisions for me. Even though I sometimes believe that God micromanages my life, I do understand that I am the one that makes the decisions. God can influence me, but I am the one who chooses. God cannot take away my free agency.
Therefore, I am the one who chooses to be in control. If I want to have a healthier life, then I need to stop eating the things that I shouldn’t. If I want to become a millionaire by the time that I am 30, I need to work as hard as I can to accomplish that goal. If I want to change millions of people’s lives through entertainment, then I am the one who needs to go out there and do it. I understand that God will help give me opportunities and chances for me to share my talents. However, if I do not take those opportunities and chances when they are given to me, I am no longer in control. Does that make sense?
My life is my own life to live. I love God and I love my Savior. I am so glad that I am a member of this true church and able to study at BYU, even though the “Provo Bubble” is extremely annoying. When I broke my wrist this summer, it taught me an invaluable lesson of the Atonement of Jesus Christ:
After entering the emergency room and taking preliminary x-rays, the doctors had to set my broken wrist into a temporary cast. A young male nurse, who you could tell was new at his job, tried to set my wrist. Setting a broken bone can be extremely painful. The male nurse was gentle, but not pulling hard enough. The bone would not set. Then, a slightly older doctor came up and said he would do it. The new doctor told me that it would hurt, a lot. I told him to do it as fast as he could. He quickly pulled my wrist back; bone grinding against bone; nerve against nerve. I have never felt pain like that in my life. I threw my head back, bit my tongue, said a few curse words. Then, it was over. I was in a cold sweat. I have never sweat from pain. In that precise moment, I thought of the Savior. I was sweating because of the pain. How much greater was His pain, If He, the Greatest One of All, sweat blood from very pore?
That small amount of pain that I felt, which caused me to sweat from only a few pores, was nothing but something of what Jesus felt that night in Gethsemane. How extremely grateful am I for that experience. I am glad that I broke my wrist, for it taught me a lesson of the redeeming power of Christ that I would never have experienced any other way.
I know that God and Jesus Christ exist. I know that Their true church is on the earth once again. I know that the Book of Mormon is revealed ancient scripture to us. I know that President Monson in the prophet of this church. I plan to be a member for a long time.
1 comment:
Andy: It sounds like you are growing up. A man knows that his self is only part of something bigger and he must play out his part as best he can. Choose worthy goals to work on and ask God for help, then go to work, then ask God for help again. Like the BofM says, pray always. Knock and it shall be opened. Rely on God as your anchor. Attend church. Do your duty. Pray always. Get up when you fall down. Endure. Prosper. Have fun inside the limits of consience and what you know to be right. Work hard and get rich, while also storing up treasures in Heaven through service, self sacrifice, and generousity.
Life is tough. Your doing fine. Hang in there.
Dad.
Post a Comment